6) Not Fast Enough... and Nowhere to Go. Will We Become Human Smores?
Episode 6 - Background leading up to my foodie career and The MONETIZATION CHEF
Greetings Cottage Foodie!
Yesterday, story-time took us through the last dozen or so years of our beloved food business, before we sold most of it in 2019. We then enjoyed a work break, living largely off proceeds for over a year.
But. Labor Day, 2020…
We’d called the sheriff’s office when we saw smoke. The officer told us they were on it.
As I said before, especially with those stiff winds, I should have known better
Maybe 30 minutes later they called back and told us to evacuate.
Initially named the “Clover” fire, it started one mile to the east and was now blowing up due to near hurricane-style high winds, high temps, and extreme dry conditions.
I still thought (hoped) we had a little time.
I frantically backed our Ford Escape up near the frontsteps, and told Sandy to grab only the most important. We were dumping things by the front door, including clothing, computers, Sandy’s purse, etc.
I threw our TV/Roku stick into the vehicle along with a container of our prescriptions and supplements. Then, box in hand, I went to the back bedroom for more clothes and valuables.
When I came back out the front, things were scary. Roaring fire had blown across the 40 feet of gravel in our parking area. At the front edge of our lawn, lilacs were in flames on one side of the walkway. On the other side, blackberries were burning, literally squirting juice from ripe berries onto the Ford’s windshield, less than 20 feet from the house.
I screamed at the top of my lungs to Sandy at the back of the house. “Sandy, just bring whatever is in your hands, and COME HERE NOW!”
As I ran to throw my box into the back of the Escape (ironic name for a car in that situation), a vicious gust of searing hot wind, blew through the lilac, hitting me in the face. Embers were spot burning my shirt and pants, parts of my head.
The wind and heat knocked me to the ground, along with the box in my hands.
Our two beloved cats, Joey and Paris, were still inside, so spooked we were unable to catch them earlier. I am sure they could hear the growing ominous sounds outside.
(I am still nauseous about what happened to our little friends/family members…)
I honestly thought Sandy and I were dead, too. I looked for an escape route in the middle of a mowed lawn section, gambling that if we circled up, and stayed down, the fire might burn around us.
Sandy came out. As I yelled at here to “get in”, I grabbed her suitcase and threw it in the back of the car and closed the hatch.
(Everything piled by the front door did not make it.)
Then I drove forward, between the burning lilacs and berries, fire scorching and bubbling the vehicle paint, just as flames were licking the eaves of our home at the top point of the roof.
I felt a brief sense of relief as I drove out onto the parking area, and down the 75-yard driveway (nothing burning!) to our main public access road.
Looking down the hill, I saw fire on both sides of the road. Nothing burning up the hill. I turned up. (A mistake.) Our nightmare was not yet over.
A couple switchbacks, and there was the fire again, burning right against one side of the road, all the way up as far as I could see. But that was not my biggest worry.
Two small, black, smoking snags (dead trees) were across the road at the last tight corner, one lying all the way across, flat on the ground. The other, pointing a bit up in the air, and leaving just enough room to get by on the steep gravel single lane road.
In a panic, I hit the corner at an angle, and gunned it to get over the downed log. Next thing I knew, Mr. Ford slipped into a fast right turn, wheel spinning down the edge of the log, directly into the tip of the 2nd snag. Radiator punctured, and car hood smashed up — obscuring much of my vision.
I reversed and backed down.
Water and steam were everywhere. Here we go, I thought. Dead. Stuck with a disabled vehicle in the middle of a raging wildfire.
My head cleared and with it, a realization that although the Ford was totaled, I might get far enough away from the fire to be safe, before it died.
Fortunately, the Escape model is 4WD. I backed up and circled around so I could hit the downed log square with both front tires at the same time.
Success. Back tires over too.
Not sure how far I would get with no water in the engine, but we made the half-mile to the top, above the active fire.
Next, we drove to a small grade school parking lot, maybe two miles away near Cavendish (an unincorporated burgh) as a staging area. Some of our evacuated neighbors showed up with the same thought.
Our heroic Ford Escape was now completely dead.
Friends gave us a ride, taking back roads around the fire area to town. The beloved Red Cross put us up in a hotel for a couple weeks at nearby Lewiston, where we cowered to our new reality.
Housing was scarce before the fire in our small, rural community. Now, 15 burned-out families in a community of 3200 were competing with firefighters for temporary housing, while looking for a permanent home.
RIP — our rustic farm home of 20 years, memories & mementos gone…
In the meantime our Red Cross assistance ended, but a buddy who graduated with me from high school, let us stay in his family home for two weeks in a neighboring town. Then, a local B&B operator let us stay in her private residence five weeks, for $125 a week.
Being homeless while emotionally nuked was the toughest two months of my life. Nothing is easy. Every waking hour spent trying to replace your life at Salvation army while trying to find a suitable home when there wasn’t any.
After two months of desperation, we finally located a decent single-wide in a mobile home park right along the gorgeous Clearwater River. We made a down payment and financed the rest with a credit union loan.
I apologize to you for this long-winded detail, probably more cathartic for me, than valuable to you. But the goal of this introductory sequence is to let you take a deep peek into my life. After these emails, you see and understand my life and what motivates me.
You now know far more about Sandy and me, than my current neighbors.
These near-death events are still etched vividly in my mind, and I will see images of flames and smoke, and our escape, every day until death or dementia take me. After 4+ years (anniversary almost two months ago as I share this),
Sandy still thinks every strong odor she smells includes smoke.
Since then, we’ve rebuilt our life. And it’s a good life.
Post dementia scare, Sandy’s become a Licensed Spiritual Practitioner with the Centers for Spiritual Living. Because of her massive background in website building and expertise with dozens of associated softwares, she now runs a thriving virtual assistant business serving spiritual centers and associated coaches.
Since the fire, I’d been partly lost (again) as to work priorities.
I did discover enjoyment helping a family attorney in Clarkston, Washington edit and publish a book on Amazon called “Hope Lines”, written about his life’s work, assisting families in crisis. We published in all three formats, including a Kindle ebook, paperback, and hard cover.
(PS Authoring and book publishing become relevant as a great side hustle for Cottage Foodies like you. A recipe book will easily 2x your sales, and add a profit center. More on that in a future email…available to paid subscribers.)
Of course, Sandy and I continue to dabble in food, selling co-packed “Idaho Redneck Hucklaberry Toe Jam” to a couple big clients.
And I did not mention this previously, but Sandy and I started another small ecommerce biz in 2008. Selling berry-picking tools was an enterprise that started with explosive volume, slowed to steady, and sales now going over a cliff due to massive online competition. Line down.
2023 was our last year for both of these last two ecommerce gigs.
(But, I am launching a new food line in 2024, as part of a “look over my shoulder” module for food business training. Stay tuned as we roll out in 2025.)
In the meantime, I’ve never stopped reading food industry trade journals. And I eagerly follow news, magazines, and social media about food, various diets, and food business startups.
So, how did I become the Monetization Chef?
In 2022, I’d spent over a year studying business funding options, planning to become a lending and business services rep to startups. I’d signed on with four collateral-free business loan brokerages and was ready to launch.
Then a bigger vision popped up.
In January (2023), I was watching a presentation by one of the internet marketing gurus I follow, Russell Brunson of ClickFunnels in Boise. He said something so obvious (and or at least timely for me) that it changed and solidified the career trajectory for the balance of my working life.
So, I’m back to my foodie center. With a new hat.
In the next email, I will share why and how I made a conscious choice to help sincere, hard-working people like you, find success in a thriving and rewarding food biz of your very own. With my background in the startup and small-scale food (and other) industries, and a passion for training, my goal is to help launch 1000 foodie-preneurs (like you) to greater success, before I hang up my chef hat.
(PS I am the kind of guy who is unlikely to “retire”… I will just drop over someday. Nothing imminent, at least according to my physician.)
We are nearing the end of this “Mal’s Story” sequence, but in the next edition, I will share:
· What Russel Brunson actually said that changed my life in 2023.
· What my goals are for The MONETIZATION CHEF, and what opportunities those open up for you.
In the meantime, may your life be even richer and more rewarding than you imagine. There are few things you cannot work past in your life, if you hold the vision, and accept reality.
And please make fun-time exploration a priority in all your endeavors — a major key to a life well lived. You never know when your time is up. Don’t make the “transition” with recipes and tickled tastebuds still inside you.
Best wishes from your “Post Toasty” co-foodie,
Mal Dell
The MONETIZATION CHEF
Cooking Up Profits for Foodies!
PS See the previous 5 Episodes in Mal’s Story:
Episode 1: SPIRIT kept sending me messages about a food career, but...I am a slow learner
Episode 2: Foodie success backwards… but it created opportunity
Episode 3: How a Fortuitous Purchase by the University of Idaho Changed My Foodie Fortune
Episode 4: What goes up… must come down? Noooooooooooooo!
Episode 5: Hanging On, But Nothing to Hang On To... Is That Smoke?
See the next (and final) Episode, in Mal’s Story
Final Episode (7): How an Obscure, Abandoned Facebook Group Turned Me into a Cottage Food influencer, and Helped Launch The MONETIZATION CHEF