WHAT IN THE HECK DO INTROVERSION and EXTROVERSION HAVE TO DO WITH SELLING SUCCESS AT FARMERS MARKETS?
Your Understanding of Natural Personality Tendencies Can Turn Losing Events into Winners, and Red Ink into Profits.
Dear Foodie.
Selling – or maybe less offensive to some – attracting sales, is a huge topic.
Both your personality as a proprietor, and the interpersonal traits your customers bring, offer a delightfully rich canvass of opportunity, to your financial benefit.
After all, EVERYONE likes – even loves – to buy. But NOBODY wants to be “SOLD” (interpreted as “scammed”.)
People come to a farmers’ market or holiday show to shop, ultimately with a goal of purchasing something fun, tasty, a gift, or just to add to the pantry for some future purpose.
WHAT MAKES ONE PERSON BUY and THE NEXT PERSON NOT?
And so, the infinite question for all small business owners is, what makes one person buy and another turn up her or his nose? Or more depressing, why did that person buy the exact same goodie from a different seller?
Why is one new customer excited with the purchase, and even excited about the entire buying process… while the next one sort of sighs, and puts items in the bag with a look of disinterest, even resignation?
Both are still a sale, right?
THE START OF ANY SELLING FUNNEL: HOW COMFORTABLE A PROSPECT FEELS
Many, many paths exist to developing raving fans. But the entry point into this process, or what marketers call a “funnel”, is about connecting with them at their level. By opening up a path that welcomes prospects into your circle, helps them feel safe, and obliterating their inner and natural resistance, you are halfway there.
Personality types and communication styles are useful business technology – and a big part of my life. People in the sales field sometimes call it “mirroring”.
HOW INTROVERSION AND EXTROVERSION BUTT HEADS IN RELATIONSHIPS
Let me explain the importance of personality in a personal life situation.
My first marriage ended in divorce after a lengthy courtship, three kids, and seven years of marriage.
With the hindsight of the next ten years of single life, including exposure to personality technology such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), I figured out where the friction came from. I then knew what to look for in a life mate (if I did the marriage thing again.)
Not surprisingly, my 2nd wife of 28 years, Sandy, is the EXACT 100% opposite MBTI of my first.
Basically, the MBTI uses four pairs of natural personality traits. You TEND toward one side or the other for each pair, and this results in 16 different combinations or “types”.
Today, for simplicity, let’s scale down into the one pair I believe is most important to you (or just about anyone) to improve any type of relationship, including communications with cottage food shoppers.
The INTROVERSION and EXTROVERSION pair.
For some background:
· Introverts work from a territorial compulsion. Typically, just a few close friends they socialize with comfortably. Outside that inner circle, they tend to think (up to 10 seconds) before they speak. While inside that circle, you can’t tell them differently from extroverts.
· Extroverts work from a socialization compulsion. Typically a wide range of contacts and friends, and every thought drops out of their (our, lol) mouth quickly. Or is waiting in line to insert into a conversation at the earliest opportunity.
· Both types represent about 50% of the population.
· The gender distribution is about evenly spread between men and women.
· We all have traits of both…but we tend to lean one way or the other, depending on our internal wiring, and the situation.
I used to guest speak in a communications class at the university of Idaho, where I presented a workshop on Myers-Briggs.
I would do a qualitative self-assessment exercise, then sequentially divide the room into the various pairs, and give students an opportunity to talk about the OTHER personality end of the pair.
ALL of the four pairs led to interesting and insightful discussions. For the Introvert-Extrovert pairing, here are the most vehement (but unsurprising) outcomes:
· Extroverts thought introverts were good listeners, but socially backward, needing to “improve”. (Many eyerolls from the Introvert section.)
· Introverts thought extroverts were often engaging and fun to be around. But “Why can’t they think before they run off their yaps?”
Is a picture starting to develop here for you?
Are you an introvert or extrovert? What type are most of your prospects… who become customers?
Anyway, let’s talk more about how I use this personality pairing, before we move into sales interactions, designed to up your game.
MY INTROVERSION-EXTROVERSION STORY
I am an extrovert. My first wife was an introvert.
She took a clerical job at a US Forest Service Ranger Station out of college, where she was inundated with people and conversation all day long.
I started a forestry contracting company out of college (BS Forest Resources, 1979) where I “low bid” on contracts for timber stand exams, tree planting, tree thinning, rodent control, etc. Contracts were with the US Forest Service and Idaho Department of Lands.
Some of these jobs were “loner” situations where I would go camp out a week at a time, by myself, and spend all day working… by myself.
Guess what happened when I got home each weekend, in DESPERATE need of socialization? (While her socialization needs were nuked!)
I wanted to go out, invite over friends, talk, talk, talk
She wanted to veg in front of the TV. Quietly.
Do you relate to any of this?
After our divorce, my three daughters went to live with their mother as the primary. Two of them were introverts, along with their mom, and later their step-father and step-brother.
My youngest daughter, a high extrovert, was unusually amazing with verbal skills.
When she was 7, I sometimes took her along to a Toastmasters Club for public speaking I attended. She would compete off-the-cuff with experienced adults, even taking home some weekly trophies.
But at home, surrounded by 100% introverts, who all told her to quit talking, go to her room, or read a book… it changed her. She became more muted, more concerned about criticism. Less open to being who she was.
Abuse, however well-intentioned, in a form not recognized by society.
Similarly, at a household in my wife’s sibling family, just the opposite was happening. A young relative the same age as my daughter was a high introvert, surrounded by a handful of family extroverts.
Never left alone to recharge after a long day at school, she was badgered constantly. “Quit hiding in your room!” “Come out and watch TV with us!” And later, “No, you can’t play on the computer until you share family time!”
Well intentioned, but this changes people. Everyone is different. Deep inner needs vary widely and must be respected.
LACK OF PERSONALITY PLANNING CAN DESTROYS MARRIAGES (Or Business Relationships)
One more story, before I move into the business aspects of this interpersonal technology.
May decade of single life (late 80s to late 90s) led to some interesting relationships, and I befriended a counselor. During our beer bottled bitch sessions, while solving the world’s problems, at one point he described his typical marriage counseling client.
Most were respected professionals (e.g. doctors, lawyers, bankers), who tend to be introverts. At that point in history most were also male (thankfully the gender gap has narrowed.)
Typically dragged in by the wife, the couple would share conflicts eerily similar to my failed first marriage story… but with the gender roles reversed.
Due to their status and income potential, these professionals tended (but not always) to attract fun, engaging, extroverted, and socially-directed spouses.
Then, post-wedding living together, the daily routine would play out.
Mr. Professional, the introvert, would spend the day with an endless stream of clients, interspersed with partner or staff meetings. At the end of the day, he would come home looking for a martini or beer, a recliner, newspaper, and maybe a ball game on the tube, while petting the pooch.
Wifey, after spending all day on the phone, meeting friends for lunch, and planning a dinner with wine and candles, feels unloved by a grumpy, reticent “too tired” spouse. Not willing to spend her evenings (the primary quality time of the day with her spouse) ignored and non-communicative, she engages in bitter discourse.
And without (or even with) counseling mitigation…divorce is often the answer.
Note that since opposites attract, introverts and extroverts often get along famously, and make for a high percentage of happy relationships. But lifestyle and career planning need to be integrated to make it work well.
(PS My hope is that you find or found the happiness I experience in my 2nd marriage, with Sandy.)
Now, how does all this cathartic story-mongering relate to your booth at a community event, holiday craft show, farmers market, or pop up?